Growing up we get a lot of definitions of what a perfect man is. As boys, we’re told to grow up and be men without being taught how to be one and so confusion creeps in because society also has its own definition of what a man is. Often times than most, we define what a perfect man is from the way male figures in our lives have shown it to us and eventually what happens is, we pick up all of those habits which in turn then leads to a crisis of identity.
A “real man” in society is stereotyped as one who has many partners and knows many women, one who doesn’t laugh or smile a lot but one who is able to speak boldly and with authority in front of others. On the extreme side of things, a real man is he who earns a lot more than his wife as that speaks of superiority and leadership on his part.
Responsibility, accountability, and authority are some of the other characteristics attributed to him who the world believes to be a perfect man. Some stereotypes are good, some are bad while others are relative.
However, there’s one question most people usually ask and that is; is a man truly complete without a woman by his side? Does a woman make one more of a man?
Although true that a woman may add value to a man, one has to remember that it’s not the woman who makes of you more of a man but it’s the God in the woman who makes of you a better man. We need to go back to God to redefine manhood, for it is He who sets the standards of what a perfect man is and what he ought to be like; He manufactured man in the beginning.
The many stereotypes associated to what and how a man is supposed to behave hindered the way we as men worship God because we’ve been taught to suppress our emotions and not show any sign of weakness but the truth of the matter is that as much as we may be men, we are also the bride of Christ and the sooner we understand this, the more emotional freedom we will experience.
A real man is he who loves and shows emotions just as Jesus did. We often feel that love should only be directed to women and not men because it may appear as being gay but if you can love your brothers genuinely then you have understood what love is. As a man loving a woman is easier but it’s tricky because there’s not only agape but there’s also an attraction in the mix, of which we often get confused about. God loves the world with agape love and this love is built on communion and fellowship, which is strong.
Jesus had no spouse yet He was able to display love to His disciples. We need to understand that it’s the love for our brothers that breaks the walls, as the Bible says that “perfect love casts out all fears”.
In Job 1:1-8 God mentions the attributes that made Job the perfect man. Let us use those attributes as the benchmark by which we measure who and what a perfect man is while still looking to Christ as our model. Jesus walked on earth to personify love and as such, we need to follow His lead and love genuinely.
Societies today, including our cultures, have developed an idea of what the perfect woman is. So now, not only are women subjected to society’s conception of what they ought to be, but they’re also subjected to what a man thinks the perfect woman is.
Most women have found themselves adjusting, cutting off, changing and removing bits and pieces of themselves to fit into the mold of who the world has painted the perfect woman to be.
The adventurous woman has been told to be too
out-going and too loud; the calm and composed ones are assumed to be boring for
not being loud. The ambitious ones are believed to belittle men and make them
feel less of themselves by being overly confident.
However, the Bible tells us of the Proverbs 31 woman who mirrors what an ideal woman is to be like and how she carries herself. Such is a woman who takes care of her family and goes about doing her business excellently.
Be a woman who cares for the needs of others like Dorcas, a woman who is not quick to quit on others like Ruth. Be that woman who isn’t afraid to lead like Deborah and one who isn’t shy to be brave and relevant while remaining submissive like Esther.
The pulpit is not the only platform on which you as women can preach, but your character, your actions, and your behavior are the very first preachings seen and heard by others.
Learn to keep yourself for the glory of God. You are a virtuous woman and the best gift you could give your husband is exclusivity. Knowing that he alone has known you and seen you in the way that he has, for the most expensive things aren’t meant to be exposed.